yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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