and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
