You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
