seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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