it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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