my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I love you. Go after that dick
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
