but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
