He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
