Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
