Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think i have two assholes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize