What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
