how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize