I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think I am morally bankrupt
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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