I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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