we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
