why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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