dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
