Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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