We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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