The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
they need to just BURY HIM!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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