we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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