this beer tastes like vomit already
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
