I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
