plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
