dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
