I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
