Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
