Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
