Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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