i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
