I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
