I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
