dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
