I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
