I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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