it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
