planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
