So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize