So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize