I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
