I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
