U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am naked and annoyed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
