Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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