uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
