Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
