you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize