i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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