She's JV to your varsity
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize