i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i've created a new STD.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
