It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
