I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
