party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
