Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize