im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
