belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
