I am puke
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
