why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
