first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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