once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
