we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Boobs speak an international language.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
