Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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