careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
