This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
